While the world Kaulder inhabits is supposedly our own, the figures he comes across are all variations on fantastical beings, all in on the game to some degree. The part where you share it”), is preparing to retire, and the job of guiding and redeeming Kaulder will fall to a young novice, played by Elijah Wood. The 36th Dolan, played by Michael Caine in full-on Alfred Pennyworth mode (“You’re missing a great part of your life.
His only companions are a long line of priests, all called Dolan. (Then he seduces a stewardess, but I digress.) We learn that witches are now allowed to govern themselves, so long as they don’t hurt people, and that Kaulder has been policing them all these hundreds of years. He sniffs out a young witch on the plane, but he lets her go with a warning. The film then flashes forward to many centuries later, and Kaulder, still alive after all these years, now shorn of his beard and looking for all the world like Vin Diesel, is on an airplane hitting a strange bit of turbulence. “I curse you with life! To never know peace! To walk the earth for all eternity!” So he was maybe an average Joe witch hunter once, but now he’s an immortal. Right before she turns into a pillar of ash, the Witch Queen puts the curse of immortality on our hero.
Witches, you see, are real, and they were responsible for the Black Death, and Kaulder and others have been hunting them for some time in an effort to avenge their loved ones.
Vin Diesel plays Kaulder, a beefy, bearded warrior we first meet sometime in the Middle Ages, as he kills the ghastly Witch Queen (Julie Engelbrecht). The Last Witch Hunter is so dense, so packed with stuff - with spells and strange beings and dreams and weapons and ornate walls and tree roots tangled with skulls and giant swirling apocalyptic black clouds of man-eating flies - that you might not notice at first that there aren’t any people in it. The immortal Vin Diesel, doing something spectacular.
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